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March Releases: Starsky & Hutch | Northfork
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Starsky & Hutch

starskyhutch.jpg

Cast: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Juliette Lewis, Snoop Dogg, Chris Penn, Terry Crews, Will Ferrell
Director: Todd Phillips
Producers: William Blinn, Stuart Cornfeld, Akiva Goldsman, Tony Ludwig, Alan Riche
Screenplay: John O'Brien and Todd Phillips & Scot Armstrong, based on characters created by William Blinn
Cinematography: Barry Peterson

A 30-something studio executive's eyes light up when someone suggests a movie based on a cheesy-but-popular 1970's television show. "I had that on my lunchbox at school!" he says. "Do you think we can get the original stars to do a cameo?" All that's left is to sign up a couple of rising stars and license some oldies for the soundtrack, and everything's set.

But it's trickier than it seems to get the tone right, as the producers of The Avengers found out. It has to have both genuine affection for the original and just the right touch of snarky post-modernism. It has to be funny but it also has to keep us engaged enough in the story to keep things moving. Thankfully "Starsky & Hutch" just about gets it right.

Ben Stiller (one actor I always find it extremely hard to take to) plays Starsky, the play-by-the-rules cop who takes everything very seriously, especially his beloved red Gran Torino with the white vector stripes. He has to try to live up to the standard set by his policewoman mother, but he acts as though he's following a script. When there's a shoot-out, Starsky always drops and rolls just a beat before or after it might possibly be necessary and he can't seem to walk by that retro-cool car without rolling across the hood.

The excellent Owen Wilson plays Hutch, the take-it-easy cop whose casual attitude makes him popular with everyone from pretty cheerleaders to cute neighbourhood kids to slightly shady informants (including the sublime rapper Snoop Dog, the essence of real-life cool as Huggy Bear).

Starsky and Hutch are assigned to work together as punishment by their chief (70's icon Fred Williamson). Of course at first they don't get along, eventually developing a grudging respect for each other, and then affection and true partnership.

Cynical observers used to wonder whether the warm friendship between Starsky and Hutch was really deeper than 1970's television could contemplate. This movie tweaks the idea a little, with the pair stumbling cluelessly through some mildly suggestive situations that feel like a part of its retro vibe.

Vince Vaughn brings his edgy silkiness to the role of the bad guy, a high class drug dealer. Will Ferrell contributes a very funny cameo as a pervo prisoner who likes dragons - embroidering them and having men pretend to be these creatures. But the movie is all about the chemistry between Stiller and Wilson, now in their sixth film together, and they do manage to bring out the best in each other. Starsky narrows his eyes intensely as he looks down at a dead body. "You've punched your last ticket, amigo." Hutch peers over at him. "Are you trying to tough talk a dead guy?"

After that, it's just ringing changes on the most appallingly cheesy aspects of that cheesiest of decades. The soundtrack features "Afternoon Delight," "I Can't Smile Without You," and the hit song by original Hutch David Soul (sung here hilariously by Wilson) - "Don't Give Up on Us, Baby." The clothes are one ridiculous "what were we thinking" after another.

S&H go undercover in Easy Rider drag as "Kansas" and "Toto" (you'll get that if you recall that seminal road movie) to question the owner of a biker bar. They interrogate a cheerleader (and are struck speechless when she takes her clothes off). There's a terrifically entertaining disco dance-off featuring the dreaded Har Mar Superstar. Someone actually says "Sit on it." And the original Starsky and Hutch show up for a funny cameo.

One beef: "To err is human, to forgive divine" (contrary to the two mis-attributions in the film, that was said by Alexander Pope.) Just showing off, thought you might like to know.

Northfork
northfork.jpg
Cast: Josh Barker, Graham Beckel, Marshall Bell, R.J. Burns, Peter Coyote, Anthony Edwards, Duel Farnes, Claire Forlani, Ben Foster, Clark Gregg, Jon Gries, Daryl Hannah, Michele Hicks, Kyle MacLachlan, Nick Nolte, Mark Polish, Robin Sachs, James Woods

Directed by Michael Polish
Pseudo-arty, mock-surreal and insufferably pretentious are just a few adjectives barely adequate to sufficiently describe Mark and Michael Polish's big-budget neo-Western. What little enthusiasm I drummed up for this hyper-precocious indie soon evaporated ten minutes in.

Hugely reliant on technique and saturated in symbolism, Northfork tells the story of an imaginative orphan boy (Duel Farnes as Irwin) who has been returned to Northfork's local priest (a crusty Nick Nolte as Father Harlan) because of an unspecified illness.

Harlan desperately seeks a home for the dispossessed boy while the 1955 Montana Plains town of Northfork is virtually dismantled around him, courtesy of a new dam. Caught in a maelstrom of feverish dreams, Irwin conjures up a quartet of eccentric angels: Anthony Edwards as a blind, double-amputee named Happy and Daryl Hannah as the androgynous and childless Flower Hercules. Edwards and Hannah are just two of the unfortunates, along with Kyle McLachlan, Nick Nolte and James Woods who all must have been pissed out of their respective trees when they signed on for this stultifying puzzler.

While relying heavily on pristine imagery (macro close-ups of teacups, windshields and clouds) to get their point across, the Polish brothers manage to oh-so-vaguely sketch out a tale of the state-controlled evacuation committee and their fruitless efforts to relocate Northfork's tenacious townsfolk. The Committee's parting gift? A pair of clipped, baby angel wings in a velvet-lined guitar case (boke).

There's a repetitive and abstract angel representation. You'll also notice the excessive David Lynch-ian nature of the narrative. The Polish twins may actually have some minor talent tucked away somewhere, though exactly where beats the hell out of me. This feeble American fairy tale should, however, send both of these tossers packing, straight back to square one.